I am past the two week period for wearing the iron maiden suit, but I seem to be addicted to it. After having it off for a few hours, it always feels good to put it back on – it is very supportive and makes by thighs and back feel better while wearing it.
We planned on being out and walking around all day at the Renaissance Festival so I figured I had better wear it for the day. I have my bathroom procedures down pat so it shouldn’t be a problem. Ha!
All was going well until I needed to go the bathroom. The kids went to watch the jousting so I took the time to go, since I was stupid enough to drink a bunch of water on the drive to the Fair. The bathrooms inside the gate were lined up outside of the building and down the path so I had to skip that one. We stopped and watched the knife throwing act on the way to the jousting (where the next bathroom was located). By the time we got to the jousting arena I really had to go.
Port-a-potties.
OMG.
Ok – I have used them tons of times before, no big deal. I am in and out fast. But I had the iron maiden to deal with this time – adds a whole new perspective to things.
I got inside and quickly realized I was not going to let me pants touch the floor. Eeeewwwww. Without pushing my pants down to my ankles, I can spread my legs enough to guarantee not wetting the suit. So I sat there, pushing against my pants, while I was bent over and trying to hold my pants so they didn’t touch the floor. Stupid. Stupid Stupid.
Before I left I stuffed my purse with extra toilet paper – I figured the way things wee going the next time I had to go I would probably need it.
The rest of the day went well, it was hot though. Before we left, the Girl and I stopped into the flush toilets at the front of the park. There were only a few people in line so it wasn’t too bad. While we were waiting I pulled out my stash of toilet paper out of my purse and gave her a few sheets, just in case she needed it in her stall.
She looked at me:
“Ok, you are officially weird”
Me “What?”
The Girl “You are carrying toilet paper in your purse.”
She rolled her eyes and walked to her stall. When we finished she handed me the extra toilet paper back. And I am the weird one.
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